Rock bottom yet?
3 posters
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Rock bottom yet?
Since I failed my oral examinations, people have been patronizing me. Maybe they really are trying to lighten my mood, but I don't need people to sweet talk me, tell me that I didn't pass cause blah blah blah. I figured that failing was rock bottom.
I received a letter 2 days ago that the coverage for my prescriptions is maxed out. Which means I can't get my spare $175 inhaler. Or birth control. I'm sure I don't need both, but having to pay ~80% of their actual prices really suck. I don't have $50+ lying around and if I'd known that I'll be maxing out with my refills, I wouldn't have refilled. It's not as though I've a sex drive anyway.
Then my vacation plans with my parents fall through again. Oh and I just spent $93+ buying my mom a 10-minute trainer/diet kit cause she said that she would pay for the vacation. Guess I'm out of that money. I hate this for more than monetary reasons. I'm almost 20 pounds heavier than my mom and she is an inch shorter. Last year I was 30 pounds heavier. All my life, all I've felt is ugly and fat because that's mainly what she told me daily. I do not need to be buying shit like that for my mom, she doesn't need to be guilt tripping me, and I don't need to be told that I'm close to useless, not given an option with anything, and be told that my parents could've left me to die as a baby. I don't even want to talk to them anymore.
Most days I just want to disappear, hide in bed and never wake up. Please let this be rock bottom, because then the only place left for me to go is up.
I received a letter 2 days ago that the coverage for my prescriptions is maxed out. Which means I can't get my spare $175 inhaler. Or birth control. I'm sure I don't need both, but having to pay ~80% of their actual prices really suck. I don't have $50+ lying around and if I'd known that I'll be maxing out with my refills, I wouldn't have refilled. It's not as though I've a sex drive anyway.
Then my vacation plans with my parents fall through again. Oh and I just spent $93+ buying my mom a 10-minute trainer/diet kit cause she said that she would pay for the vacation. Guess I'm out of that money. I hate this for more than monetary reasons. I'm almost 20 pounds heavier than my mom and she is an inch shorter. Last year I was 30 pounds heavier. All my life, all I've felt is ugly and fat because that's mainly what she told me daily. I do not need to be buying shit like that for my mom, she doesn't need to be guilt tripping me, and I don't need to be told that I'm close to useless, not given an option with anything, and be told that my parents could've left me to die as a baby. I don't even want to talk to them anymore.
Most days I just want to disappear, hide in bed and never wake up. Please let this be rock bottom, because then the only place left for me to go is up.
belovedreamery- Posts : 1341
Join date : 2010-01-05
Age : 34
Location : Colorado
Re: Rock bottom yet?
you definitely do not deserve any of that!!!!! all I can say is that you need to start waking up in the morning for YOU not for anyone else..... concentrate on how special YOU are. Because you are a very special person Grace. You spread sunshine everywhere you go. Just push all that aside, to hell with that..... and start doing things for yourself. Be happy with who you are, embrace yourself. Honestly no one else's opinions matter because that is what they are.... opinions NOT FACTS..... so tell them to kiss your ass and LOVE yourself every single perfectly flawed part of yourself! because YOU are AWESOME!
LaDonna- Posts : 2223
Join date : 2010-01-06
Location : Raleigh, NC
Re: Rock bottom yet?
110% agreed with Ladonna. You are a SUPERB person and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Out with the negative, in with the positive. To hell with all that nonsense!
Big hugs lady.
Out with the negative, in with the positive. To hell with all that nonsense!
Big hugs lady.
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